You don’t need fancy vacations or public declarations of adoration to make your bond rock solid. “it’s not the big things that make a marriage great, but rather the random acts of kindness that follow the golden rule of relationships: do unto your partner as your partner would like you to do,” says john van epp, phd, therapist, author of how to avoid falling in love with a jerk , and founder of love thinks. “become a connoisseur of your partner. Learn what words, acts, expressions, gifts, and touches are the most meaningful and desired,” recommends van epp.
In other words, show your appreciation and love to your partner in the ways that mean the most to them.
There is an immense amount of pressure to perform grand romantic gestures for your partner on holidays and milestones. Experts suggest it’s just as important to show that special someone how much you appreciate them in simple ways 365 days a year. For example, do you know your partner’s love language? “love languages refer to five different styles of communicating love and appreciation in a relationship,” says jenna farmer-brackett, clinical manager at centerstone. They include quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gift-giving and receiving. Most people like to feel special on more than one occasion throughout the year.
2. Incorporate more small gestures into your day.
Once you find yourself in a serious relationship, it’s all too easy to get so comfortable that you forget to acknowledge your own partner, the other half of this wonderful duo.
But hauser explains that it’s crucial to pause and appreciate your partner in some way throughout the day, every day—even if it’s just as simple as saying hello and goodbye when they walk in and out of the door. “one of the tenets of gratitude is acknowledging that something or someone really matters to you, and one of the best ways to do that is through little gestures, like kissing them hello and goodbye, saying good morning and good night, and even just pausing to chat when they walk in the door,” she explains.
A few hours of quiet time might very well be #1 on your spouse’s wish list, especially if he or she is overworked or caring for young children. Or they might just want a break from their regular tasks. Whatever the case, give him or her the opportunity to get that needed time, whether it means several hours to curl up with a book, or you taking over their chores for the day. (if you have children, take care of finding child care or keep the kids yourself. ).
When was the last time you intentionally showed your partner how much you appreciate them? it’s not a trick question! but the reality is we can take our partner for granted - and it’s not your fault. Life does get busy and chaotic. When you have a million and one things to take care of, you can become so tunnel-visioned you forget to appreciate what’s right in front of your eyes! but showing your partner appreciation is vital to any relationship. And you don’t need an anniversary or specific dates on the calendar to do it. There are ways to show appreciation for your partner every day.